As part of the United Authors of Chick Lit, today I’m handing my blog over to Jamie, from the wonderful Finding Lucas by Samantha Stroh Bailey:
Izzy is going to be here any minute, and I’m not even dressed. I can’t believe I agreed to invite her to dinner at Leah and Katie’s. They’ll probably inspect her pores and ask about her bowel habits. Oh God, and Rachel is going to ask about her sex life. And since Izzy is having doubts about her impending wedding, this is going to be a disaster. Oh no, there’s the doorbell. Izzy’s here.
Jamie (Wow, she’s so pretty, and I’m meeting her in my ratty robe): Hi, Izzy. Welcome to Chicago!
Jamie: Come on in. Sorry, I’m not dressed yet. Just give me five minutes and we can go.
Izzy: No worries.
Jamie: Um, so maybe I should give you the heads up about my family first. They’re a bit…different.
Jamie (bites her lips and tugs her robe tighter): I was on a business trip with my boss, and well, here’s what happened. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.
“Leah wants to come over and do a thorough spiritual cleansing. There are ghosts that haunt the new owners or tenants of the house, and she says you need to make friends with them.”
“I’m just getting to know my roommates. Maybe the ghosts can wait for a bit.”
“Leah says you need to do it immediately before they feel you’ve taken over their space.”
I bet the ghosts are pretty damn happy considering they get a live sex show every day. Unless they’re Mormons.
“Okay, I’ll call her now. I just wanted you to know that I’m okay.”
I hang up and I’m about to call Leah and Katie, but when I peer at Andrew, who’s back on the bed, I see his shoulders are shaking, and he’s wiping tears from his eyes.
“What?” I snap at him.
“You have to make friends with the ghosts?” Deep rumbling laughter rolls through him again.
“Don’t you have anything better to do than listen to my phone conversation?”
“On a cellphone, you can hear everything. It’s just so funny. Hello, ghost, why don’t you come in? Would you like a martini or perhaps a dry sherry? Oh, serve yourself, you know where everything is.”
He goes on in this vein for two minutes. And for once, I start laughing, too. Most of the time, I can’t see the humor in Leah’s wacky ideas, but with Andrew falling all over the bed and laughing, and me smiling at him, I do. “She’s not totally insane, you know,” I tell him.
“I never said she was. I think she sounds really cool.”
“Well, I have to call her too so try to contain your laughter for a few minutes.”
I call Leah, and while she repeats the necessity of a ghost e-vite, Andrew pretends not to listen. But his hand is covering his mouth to smother the giggles, and I can just imagine what he’s thinking.
He’s my boss, and he knows way more about my family than Horace and Adrienne who have worked beside me for years. This might not be my brightest career move. And then, he makes retching noises when he hears Leah say, “Maybe your boss would like some of your fish oil pills. Driving for a long time can do terrible things to your equilibrium and liver. Or pick up a bottle of Nu Greens and give that to him for breakfast.”
“Leah, stop. I can’t talk about this right now.” C’mon, I need to have some professional dignity.
“Oh? Can I talk to him?” she asks.
But Andrew hears that and holds out his hand for the phone. I furiously shake my head at him, but he wrestles the phone away from my grip. My stomach is churning at what Leah might say. God, she may ask him about his sex life for all I know.
“Uh huh, yes, I will, no I don’t, garlic pills for Jamie? Yes, I’ll remember. No, I feel good. I have a naturopath. My girlfriend doesn’t go to her, but I see her regularly. Am I regular?”
“That’s it! Give me the phone!” I yell.
BUY FINDING LUCAS FROM:
Can you ever really go back to the past?
After five long years of living with Derek, her former bad-boy-turned-metrosexual boyfriend, Jamie Ross finally reaches her breaking point. She’s had enough of his sneering disdain for her second hand wardrobe, unusual family and low-paying job as the associate producer of Chicago’s sleaziest daytime talk show. When her new boss plans a segment on reuniting lost loves, Jamie remembers Lucas, her first love and the boy she’d lost ten years earlier. Spurred on by her gang of quirky friends, Jamie goes on a hilarious, disastrous and life changing hunt to track Lucas down. But are some loves best left behind?