Guest post from author Miriam Drori: Arranged Marriage

Today fellow Crooked Cat author Miriam Drori is a guest on my blog. Her new novel Neither Here Nor There is out now.

Arranged Marriage

Miriam DroriIn modern western society, we tend to have a very romantic view of love and marriage. You meet a partner, you fall in love, you decide that this person is the only one in the world for you, you get married and you live happily ever after.

How often does that happen in real life? Not very often, it seems, if we look at the divorce statistics. I found some other interesting statistics:

55% of marriages worldwide are arranged.
90% of marriages in India are arranged.

So what’s so bad about arranged marriage? Why do we turn up our western noses at the very idea of such a practice? Do young people really know who will be suitable for them better than their parents or the matchmaker?

Before I go on, I should mention two disclaimers. Firstly, I’m not talking about forced marriage. Forced marriage, in my view, is wrong and should be condemned. Secondly, my husband and I met by chance and have been happily married for 36 years.

Amongst the haredi community (they’re the Jews whose menfolk wear black hats and black suits with tassels hanging down while the women always have their arms and legs covered) marriages are arranged, usually by a matchmaker. Couples are introduced, meet two or three times and then have to make a decision. How can they decide so quickly? I don’t know. But it seems this procedure generally works well.

In the musical Fiddler on the Roof, based on Sholem Aleichem’s story Tevye the Milkman, Tevya and Golda meet for the first time on their wedding day and gradually fall in love. In the song Do you love me? Tevye asks Golda if she loves him. At first she thinks he’s crazy, but then she realises that over the years she has come to love him. Far-fetched? I don’t think so.

Neither Here Nor ThereIn my novel Neither Here Nor There, heroine Esty has been brought up in just such a community and is expected to marry one of the men introduced to her by a matchmaker. Esty has other plans.


Miriam Drori was born and brought up in London, and now lives in Jerusalem where she single-handedly demonstrates female superiority against three males, now that her daughter has left home.

Following careers as a computer programmer and a technical writer, Miriam has been writing creatively for the past ten years and has had short stories published online and in anthologies. Neither Here Nor There is her first published novel.

Miriam began writing in order to raise awareness of social anxiety. Since then the scope of her writing has widened, but she hasn’t lost sight of her original goal.

Find out more

Visit Miriam’s website >

Neither Here Nor There is available from:

Crooked Cat Books >

Amazon UK > >

9 thoughts on “Guest post from author Miriam Drori: Arranged Marriage

  1. Ailsa Abraham (@ailsaabraham) says:

    It’s not the first time I’ve heard this supposition. The one I hear most commonly from friends who have had arranged marriages is – our parents arrange them, do you think they want us to be miserable, My first marriage was arranged in the UK by my fearsome mother and equally fearsome mother in law who were best friends

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