Continuing on with my happiness series of blogs…
The most important lesson I’ve learned since I started studying happiness is this:
I am in control of how I feel.
Easier said than done, I know. But it’s true.
As Buddha said:
What we think, we become.
If you’re the sort of person who sees the bad in everything, who feels pessimistic, who sees the glass as half empty, who thinks “I can’t” instead of “I can and I will” … if you dread the bad, never look out for the good – then of course you will feel unhappy, low, depressed, and anxious. But you are not a victim! Whatever crap you’re going through, you are not the only person going through it. Have a ‘victim moment’, if you like, but not a victim life. Things will get better. So start thinking positively. Start taking control of your mind.
Controlling how you think will change your life: it has mine.
I now see the beauty in small, every day things. When I hear sad news, I feel grateful and motivated to go out and live my life, rather than sad and sorrowful.
I make a choice, every single day, to get up and live my life. I don’t think about the sad, the ugly, the mean haters, the fucking horrible-ness of the world around me.
I think: millions of tiny microscopic moments had to line up so that I could even be born. I am here, and I’ve got one life – and it’s darn well going to be a happy, fulfilling life!
A few tips for controlling your thoughts:
- When a negative thought enters your mind, notice it, and change the subject. Quick. This takes some practise, but you can do it!
- Practise mindfulness and meditation; I find the Headspace app really good.
- Be kind and compassionate, always. You never know what someone else is going through.
- That bitch/dick who drives you crazy; stop thinking about them!
- Wherever you are, look for beauty, focus on the present moment. Is the sky a beautiful colour? Are there flowers, birds, or trees nearby? What can you appreciate in the here and now?
- Concentrate on what you’re grateful for, not what you haven’t got (not just possessions, either – relationships, skills, a healthy body…)
- Read up all you can on controlling thoughts.
Happiness is a choice!
I truly believe that. Choose happy. Choose a life worth living.
Think I’m full of crap?
I was once so depressed, I just wanted to curl up into a ball, and die. I couldn’t see any point to life, I couldn’t see why anyone would do anything, I found no pleasure in my hobbies, friends, work …
A combination of behavioural therapy, reading inspirational books and blogs, becoming mindful, and realising I can control my thoughts has changed all that.