Decluttering: physically & emotionally
You may be thinking that now (during the COVID-19 pandemic) may be a great time to declutter; and you’d be right!
I love decluttering, it brings a really good sense of peace when I’ve got a tidy, organised space containing only the things I love. Emotional decluttering is also a really useful way to help you get rid of mental blocks, hang-ups and issues you’re carrying around (often unconsciously). I’ve got some tips here for both, I hope you find them useful.
Decluttering doesn’t mean making this minimal; it means only keeping stuff you LOVE.
Physical decluttering
There are two methods I’ve used for decluttering. The first is to simply go through your home room by room, and get rid of anything that isn’t either useful or beautiful.
For example: you’re in your kitchen. The toaster, kettle and microwave are useful. You have a small ornament on your window which you love. However, you have another ornament which was a gift. You don’t consider it beautiful, it’s just not your thing, so you get rid of it (some tips to overcome guilt when getting rid of unwanted gifts below!).
Now: how about that gadget you never use? Perhaps you bought a panini grill back in 2015 and for a time you enjoyed some delicious toasted sandwiches… until you got sick of them. And it’s been in the back of the cupboard ever since. Get rid of it (if you’re feeling uncertain, there are more tips for you below).
The other method, which I use more often these days is the KonMari method. If you haven’t heard of Marie Kondo, she is a tidying and decluttering expert. Check out her Netflix documentary, website and read her book.
Marie advises us to declutter not by room, but by category. So, for example you get ALL your clothes, from all the different locations you may store them in, and put them together in one spot. This helps you to see not only how much you’ve got (often a shock for most of us!) but also to determine what we really love vs what we don’t.
She advises us to consider what ‘sparks joy’ which is similar to the ‘beautiful’ concept I mention above. She also has some great advice about tidying up and organising the stuff you do keep.
Guilt about unwanted gifts
I know, it’s tough. Someone went to the trouble of buying you a gift, and although you don’t like it, you feel guilty discarding it. However: getting rid of something doesn’t mean you didn’t appreciate the present, or the thought that went into it. Chances are your friend/relative won’t notice that you no longer have it. That item could be bringing joy to someone else (see below about what to do with stuff you don’t want anymore).
What if you might regret it?
OK, so what if you really, really fancy a panini in a few weeks time and regret getting rid of the grill?! What if that dress you haven’t worn for five years is just perfect for a party next Summer?
Any items like this, put into a bag or box and store away (in a cupboard, loft or garage). Label the box with today’s date. If at any time, you want that item, you can go grab it. If you don’t, then in six months time get rid. By then, you probably won’t remember what’s even in the box.
Also, worse case scenario: you can buy another panini grill. But I bet you won’t want to. Regular panini’s were just a phase you’ve moved on from, or else you’d have used it more regularly.
What to do with the stuff you don’t want anymore
Charity shops take a lot of good quality items. It’s a nice easy way to pass your items on, while giving the charity the opportunity to generate some income. Of course right now, they’re all closed! So store up your stuff in boxes or bags, ready to donate when you can.
If you have good quality clothes and you want to make a little cash, check out Vinted. It’s a way to buy and sell second-hand clothes. I’ve been using it for a while now; it’s great for things like dresses you wore to a wedding once two years ago but are unlikely to wear again.
Also consider selling eBay or Facebook Marketplace. Just be careful to avoid browsing and then replacing your old clutter with more stuff!
De-cluttering check list
Here’s my checklist:
Clothes, including accessories, jewellery, coats/ jackets and shoes
Books and magazines
Knick-knacks and ornaments
Kitchen ‘stuff’ - utensils, cutlery, gadgets, crockery, and food that’s at the back of the cupboard, but won’t ever get eaten
Handbags (+ what’s inside them!)
Makeup, toiletries and beauty items
Old blankets, bedding, towels, etc.
Your car; often filled with random items!
Paperwork and old documents you no longer need
Digital ‘stuff’: files on your computer, emails, texts, apps, and so on. Have a good clear out / get organised
Random junk (old phones, boxes, batteries, stuff that doesn’t work, garden equipment, etc.)
People - only spend time with those who bring you joy!
And: Who can you unfriend or unfollow on your social media (anyone you’d not say hello to on the street could go + anyone who’s very negative, you deserve better!) Have a Facebook friends cull!
Storing the stuff you do keep
I know I’m much happier, calmer and and think clearer when my stuff is tidy and organised. So find a great way to store your stuff; again, Marie Kondo is the guru at this, so check out her advice. I also love watching Alejandra on YouTube, who has some great tips and ideas.
Now… Resist the urge to buy more stuff!
It can be easy when you’ve got more space to be tempted to buy more stuff to fill it! However; two things to remember:
Life is about experiences, not material possessions
Your home is a living space, not a storage space … so keep it beautiful, and only buy stuff you truly love
Emotional Decluttering
Now, this one can take a bit more time and effort, but it’s very cathartic and worth doing on a regular basis.
We are all a sum of our experiences; good and bad. Fears, insecurities and blocks are created as we go through life. Chances are, anything you struggle with today, is due to an event in your past, perhaps in your childhood.
Maybe you have issues in an area of your life (this could be around your relationships, finances, career, health, etc.) or you just can’t stop thinking about something sad/bad/utterly unjust that happened to you; or that you made happen and can’t forgive yourself for.
Emotional decluttering will enable you to bring some of those feelings to the surface, deal with them, and hopefully move on.
Some ways to do this:
Write a list of all the things that have ever bothered you, starting as far back as you can remember. The first time I did this, my list was pages and pages, but it felt so good to get it out there on paper. Then, go back through the list, read each item and repeat to yourself (either out-loud or internally): I forgive and let this go. Say it like you mean it! Repeat as many times as you need you.
Revisit uncomfortable scenarios. Your unconscious mind represses memories that make you feel uncomfortable or upset; this is a great defence mechanism but often stops us from processing and letting go, so the memory will keep resurfacing (although it’s often distorted). So, close your eyes, play the scene out in your head and accept that you cannot change it. However you can change how you feel about it by thinking ‘I forgive and I let this go’ repeatedly. You could also imagine the situation with a more favourable outcome (the unconscious mind struggles to determine been daydreams and reality, so this may help you to move on)
See a counsellor or psychotherapist. I’ve done this about three times in my life, and it’s really useful to speak to a stranger, who doesn’t know or judge you, and just get it all out. Obviously, we need to practice social distancing right now but this could be something to consider in the future. There are also online / chat support services available vs face to face options.
Start to think positively about the future. Once you’ve addressed some of the above, try visualising a happy future for yourself. Visualisation is a great tool to help you figure out what you want your life to look like, and over time your brain will find a way to get there. If, for example, you have a difficult relationship with a relative, start imagining conversations with them that go really well, where you are at peace and can understand one another. If you’ve always wanted to get that dream job/home/car/holiday, then start picturing it in all its vivid detail. Focus your mind on the things you can control: a happy, peaceful, wonderful future… instead of the things you cannot change in the past.